Barclodiad y gawres

[gruffudd]

So today I went for a wonder to barclodiad y gawres (apronful of the giantess). No reason in particular, just fancied a stroll.

As I pulled in to the car park at Rhosneigr beach it started to feel solemn, almost pilgrimage like. I followed the winding path along the cliff side and up the hill. It seems endless for a small walk until the ground levels out and the mound begins to appear over the land.

I approach the top of the mound and the wind is rushing so fast. All that can be sensed is the sound of the crashing sea on the cliffs below, the rushing wind on my face and through my clothing. Already this is starting to feel something other than a walk after lunch.

I circle around the mound feeling the grass in my outstretched hand, caressing the very land of my ancestors at their resting site. I reach the entrance to the passage tomb.

I walk down the passage tomb and suddenly the wind stops and silence falls upon me. I'm blanketed by the darkness and silence of the passage tomb and suddenly feel something "other". I'm no longer in the vibrant world of the living, but standing at the liminal gateway of annwn. The feeling of peace takes me over and I feel only this peace.

I leave some plucked flowers as an offering to the ancestors as the physical form of my remembrance, I praise Vindos as the gatekeeper. I exit the tomb and the world picks up again.

I climb down to the sea and give honour to Nodons. I whisper the might and strength of the sea, the waves appear to crash harder into the rocks as an acknowledgement. I sit and time goes by, minutes become two hours and then I'm done.

It's time to return home. I didn't think anything of the walk to begin with but as I drove home it dawned on me, calan gaeaf is approaching.

[Heron]

That sounds like a powerful experience Gruffudd. Many thanks for sharing it with us.

Perhaps we should have a specific thread for the sharing of such experiences .

[gruffudd]

Thanks Heron,

It's a very special place. Everytime I go there's always fresh flowers there. So there's plenty of people acknowledging the place... just never seem to cross paths haha

It would be nice to read other people's experiences!

[lorna]

Thanks for sharing your experience, Gruffudd. I know what you mean by that shift from 'the vibrant world of the living' to 'the liminal gateway of annwn'. Sometimes we're prepared for such experiences and sometimes not. On a few occasions I've found I'm not aware something strange has happened, then I look back and realise 'things got really weird, didn't they?'

I had a similar experience last year at Glastonbury Tor. In case you're interested it's recorded here - lornasmithers.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/in-the-shadow-of-the-tor-i/

[gruffudd]

What a beautiful experience! I read your post and would like to read more. Do you have a blog?

Gwyn ap Nudd, or as I call him, Vindos/Vindonnus is one of my favourite gods too. Although his wisdom I find does not come easily and is not what I always WANT to hear, but what I NEED to hear.

I can't remember where I read it, but his imagery of the blackened face seems to sum him up for me. It's not that he has a blackened face but that his wisdom shines so bright that he is silhouetted by it.

[lorna]

@ Gruffudd - yes, that post is on my blog, which is called Signposts in the Mist lornasmithers.wordpress.com/ I write about/for Gwyn quite frequently there. I know exactly what you mean by 'It's not that he has a blackened face but that his wisdom shines so bright that he is silhouetted by it.' One of the phrases I found for this particular brightness is 'the brightness beyond endurance' which seems linked to his role as a death-god and people who have had near-death experiences seeing a light at the end of a tunnel.

Another quotation that summarises his presence for me is the following from Rilke -

‘For beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror
which we are barely able to endure, and it amazes us so,
because it serenely disdains to destroy us.’