Post by Deleted on Jun 17, 2010 15:31:50 GMT -1
So I've strolled about the board, reading what might be termed random posts, trying to get a flavour of the kind folks within. This seems to be the place I've been looking for, for quite a long time.
To flesh out my little introduction from the weekend, I'll try my best to be concise. For those who missed it, my name is Dave Randolph Caulkins - though I am finding myself, these days, abbreviating out the first. Other than the fact that I'm tired of my given name, there isn't much other reason. You can call me whatever you wish, though I hope I'll avoid too many of the nasty ones.
I am 36 winters old and happily married, living on the edge of the Green Mountains of Vermont, with my daughter, Rowan, who is three. My wife is rather agnostic these days, but has an affinity for pagan rooted spirituality and once practiced, to a degree, a form of CR, with more of an Irish slant. My aging mother, since the death of my father, also lives with us providing us with an extended family under one roof.
I am a Chef, by trade, and a musician by night (when the house isn't demanding my hands in work - it's around 200 years old in its eldest parts). Marcy, my wife, is a Chiropractor - which keeps me physically mobile...
Musically, I am as much a mutt as my breeding makes me (mostly Welsh/English/Native American if you wonder) - I've dabbled in many different styles on mandolin and guitar for around two decades. I had a stint of studying jazz when I was in college, but I left school to perform (and subsequently realized I needed a day job). Much of what I have been playing for the last decade could be termed alternative country, having a distinctive twang and a fondness for 'billy styled musics. I have a weakness for metal, I love bands like Eluveitie and Iced Earth, and the "edgier" lyrics, I suppose, have coloured everything that I have written. I have recently rededicated my playing to the more traditional Celtic influenced styles, which I'm happy to say, does seem to linger in these hills - we have several sessiuns, Irish/Scottish styled pubs, and a handful of decent performers.
I find myself fascinated by the work that goes on here, and in some ways a bit daunted by it as well. As a pagan trying to work within the framework of (re)constructionist spirituality based on the ancient Isles and European mainland, I find the major stumbling block is the fact that I live so damn far away from what I find personal affinity with. It's harder to connect with the spirits of Brython when that darn pond is between me and her.
That said, where I live is a conscious choice - I need to be near mountains and forest, animals and not a lot of people. I have consistently found myself in search of a place green enough to resemble the forests of our distant ancestors, as my spiritual focus tends to be the world within them and our relationship with the wild. Vermont is somewhat a compromise, as I'm not so misanthropic that I don't need a place to work or people to work for. We also stand as the least religious state with a good environmental track record and a somewhat agrarian work force. It's not a bad place for heathens of any stripes, though this isn't a commercial.
I realize that there is a sentiment expressed here about working within the parameters of native pathways on a landscape. To an extant, my voice is in agreement - and some of my ancestors obviously did so (my Native American roots are from this region). Whereas I find myself sympathetic, and indeed proud of that legacy, it has never been my calling.
Like most modern pagans I came up through the eclectic Wiccan world, though I left before my first decade was up. I have always been polytheistic, the simple duality and cultural hodge-podgery annoyed me, but finding any sort of reconstructionalist movement prior to the internet was difficult. Eventually, I made friends with a couple of folks who were on there way out of a British Isles focused Wiccan tradition and discovered that CR existed, as they had focused themselves into serving Brighid/Bride/Etc. My first few years were spent stumbling, and reading, then stumbling and reading more...
Eventually, the studies I had embarked in left me pretty much a anachronism in my surroundings - where neo-paganism and ill informed "druidry" rule the roost, complete with self appointed spiritual elders and their toadies dancing widdershins around the May Pole invoking Hera and Loki. Lacking face-to-face contact after my friends left for Ireland and Europe, I withdrew from the community completely lest I do more harm than good, or just simply waste my time.
My focus with the Celtic milieu had settled into more Brythonic traditions, including pre-Roman Gaul, which didn't have quite the level of scholarly discussion that Irish traditions did a decade ago when I first seached the web for like minded others. Between Imbas and other websites, I found the resources I needed to fill in some gaps - but not much community where I was (central New York state at the time). I started learning Gaelic at a local university with the hopes of making other languages easier to learn on my own. I also became plagued by the disease of the "armchair scholar" pagan - I stopped practicing any sort of "ritual"/devotion in my solitude and became concerned more with facts and figures and an inability to commit to exactly what it was that I should be doing with foreign gods on my native soil... Alexei's book helped somewhat, but the remnants of Wiccan philosophy/duality in his pages prevented me from really connecting to it.
Life caught up with me, and I had to spend time actually living - so I became a lay pagan, and a rather lazy one when it came to new research. After years of really doing very light reading (maybe a little Green, a little HR Davidson - and some enjoyable forays into Slavic traditions) - I found myself a bit empty, with that wretched feeling that I turned my back on something I was never supposed to... for no good reason other than my own frustration.
This spring found me with renewed energy, determination, and - dare I say - focus. Since I moved to Vermont, around 7 years ago, I have made precious few friends with like minded individuals as I engaged in hermitage outside of work and music. I have decided, for better or worse, to start actually networking with other "earth centered spirituality" folks up here - hoping to foster an interest in getting the facts right and maybe fixing my rather bleak outlook on modern paganism. I've also decided to lay down my gothic Americana oriented music performances in favor of actually studying, not dabbling at, music in Celtic traditions. I've actually contacted a local pagan musician who I'm meeting up with at an upcoming camping festival to see what it is that we share. I've put away the escapist Lovecraftian horror that I've indulged my pulp sensibilities in to actually learn Welsh and resume where I left off on my bookshelf, and give those shelves a good update (Hutton first, more Green, better translations).
Whereas the Wiccans probably have no burning desire for a (re)constructionalist at their "parties", and they do still make my skin crawl (eek! a fluffy bunny! huge, nasty, pointy teeth... err... I digress) - I have a somewhat progressive view on networking nowadays. Frankly, my misanthropic leanings were taking a pretty heavy toll on me - I have no wish to be a depressed and reluctant pagan in an empty fish bowl of my own doing...
Ok, so I'll shut up now, and try to contribute something worthwhile...
D. Randolph Caulkins
To flesh out my little introduction from the weekend, I'll try my best to be concise. For those who missed it, my name is Dave Randolph Caulkins - though I am finding myself, these days, abbreviating out the first. Other than the fact that I'm tired of my given name, there isn't much other reason. You can call me whatever you wish, though I hope I'll avoid too many of the nasty ones.
I am 36 winters old and happily married, living on the edge of the Green Mountains of Vermont, with my daughter, Rowan, who is three. My wife is rather agnostic these days, but has an affinity for pagan rooted spirituality and once practiced, to a degree, a form of CR, with more of an Irish slant. My aging mother, since the death of my father, also lives with us providing us with an extended family under one roof.
I am a Chef, by trade, and a musician by night (when the house isn't demanding my hands in work - it's around 200 years old in its eldest parts). Marcy, my wife, is a Chiropractor - which keeps me physically mobile...
Musically, I am as much a mutt as my breeding makes me (mostly Welsh/English/Native American if you wonder) - I've dabbled in many different styles on mandolin and guitar for around two decades. I had a stint of studying jazz when I was in college, but I left school to perform (and subsequently realized I needed a day job). Much of what I have been playing for the last decade could be termed alternative country, having a distinctive twang and a fondness for 'billy styled musics. I have a weakness for metal, I love bands like Eluveitie and Iced Earth, and the "edgier" lyrics, I suppose, have coloured everything that I have written. I have recently rededicated my playing to the more traditional Celtic influenced styles, which I'm happy to say, does seem to linger in these hills - we have several sessiuns, Irish/Scottish styled pubs, and a handful of decent performers.
I find myself fascinated by the work that goes on here, and in some ways a bit daunted by it as well. As a pagan trying to work within the framework of (re)constructionist spirituality based on the ancient Isles and European mainland, I find the major stumbling block is the fact that I live so damn far away from what I find personal affinity with. It's harder to connect with the spirits of Brython when that darn pond is between me and her.
That said, where I live is a conscious choice - I need to be near mountains and forest, animals and not a lot of people. I have consistently found myself in search of a place green enough to resemble the forests of our distant ancestors, as my spiritual focus tends to be the world within them and our relationship with the wild. Vermont is somewhat a compromise, as I'm not so misanthropic that I don't need a place to work or people to work for. We also stand as the least religious state with a good environmental track record and a somewhat agrarian work force. It's not a bad place for heathens of any stripes, though this isn't a commercial.
I realize that there is a sentiment expressed here about working within the parameters of native pathways on a landscape. To an extant, my voice is in agreement - and some of my ancestors obviously did so (my Native American roots are from this region). Whereas I find myself sympathetic, and indeed proud of that legacy, it has never been my calling.
Like most modern pagans I came up through the eclectic Wiccan world, though I left before my first decade was up. I have always been polytheistic, the simple duality and cultural hodge-podgery annoyed me, but finding any sort of reconstructionalist movement prior to the internet was difficult. Eventually, I made friends with a couple of folks who were on there way out of a British Isles focused Wiccan tradition and discovered that CR existed, as they had focused themselves into serving Brighid/Bride/Etc. My first few years were spent stumbling, and reading, then stumbling and reading more...
Eventually, the studies I had embarked in left me pretty much a anachronism in my surroundings - where neo-paganism and ill informed "druidry" rule the roost, complete with self appointed spiritual elders and their toadies dancing widdershins around the May Pole invoking Hera and Loki. Lacking face-to-face contact after my friends left for Ireland and Europe, I withdrew from the community completely lest I do more harm than good, or just simply waste my time.
My focus with the Celtic milieu had settled into more Brythonic traditions, including pre-Roman Gaul, which didn't have quite the level of scholarly discussion that Irish traditions did a decade ago when I first seached the web for like minded others. Between Imbas and other websites, I found the resources I needed to fill in some gaps - but not much community where I was (central New York state at the time). I started learning Gaelic at a local university with the hopes of making other languages easier to learn on my own. I also became plagued by the disease of the "armchair scholar" pagan - I stopped practicing any sort of "ritual"/devotion in my solitude and became concerned more with facts and figures and an inability to commit to exactly what it was that I should be doing with foreign gods on my native soil... Alexei's book helped somewhat, but the remnants of Wiccan philosophy/duality in his pages prevented me from really connecting to it.
Life caught up with me, and I had to spend time actually living - so I became a lay pagan, and a rather lazy one when it came to new research. After years of really doing very light reading (maybe a little Green, a little HR Davidson - and some enjoyable forays into Slavic traditions) - I found myself a bit empty, with that wretched feeling that I turned my back on something I was never supposed to... for no good reason other than my own frustration.
This spring found me with renewed energy, determination, and - dare I say - focus. Since I moved to Vermont, around 7 years ago, I have made precious few friends with like minded individuals as I engaged in hermitage outside of work and music. I have decided, for better or worse, to start actually networking with other "earth centered spirituality" folks up here - hoping to foster an interest in getting the facts right and maybe fixing my rather bleak outlook on modern paganism. I've also decided to lay down my gothic Americana oriented music performances in favor of actually studying, not dabbling at, music in Celtic traditions. I've actually contacted a local pagan musician who I'm meeting up with at an upcoming camping festival to see what it is that we share. I've put away the escapist Lovecraftian horror that I've indulged my pulp sensibilities in to actually learn Welsh and resume where I left off on my bookshelf, and give those shelves a good update (Hutton first, more Green, better translations).
Whereas the Wiccans probably have no burning desire for a (re)constructionalist at their "parties", and they do still make my skin crawl (eek! a fluffy bunny! huge, nasty, pointy teeth... err... I digress) - I have a somewhat progressive view on networking nowadays. Frankly, my misanthropic leanings were taking a pretty heavy toll on me - I have no wish to be a depressed and reluctant pagan in an empty fish bowl of my own doing...
Ok, so I'll shut up now, and try to contribute something worthwhile...
D. Randolph Caulkins